Nightmares and Dreamscapes
by Stand Alone Battle A.I
Summary: Warning: may cause excess recycling...
1. Chapter 1

With a foul mood, Hrist Valkyrie stormed through the halls of Valhalla. On a good day, people would usually give the battle maiden a wide berth and avoid eye contact with her whenever possible. On a bad day, people would run away, screaming for dear life.

Today, it seemed, was not a good day.

She looked around and spotted two Aesir guards, standing guard at one of the many doors that led to the main hall. Hrist didn't recognize either of them in the standard revealing garbs that that were mandatory of for all of the females of Valhalla (with the exception of the Valkyries and their Einherjar). _'Not that I care about knowing any of these people_', she thought. _A simple 'Hey you' will suffice for them_.

"You, I wish to know the whereabouts of Arngrim. Have you seen him?" she asked with an air of impatience in her voice.

"uh, yes milady, he came by and entered the west stair hall about an hour ago." She said nervously.

The goddess made a disgusted noise as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course he did. He is undoubtedly sleeping the in the stairwells again."

The two guards looked to each other then stared back at the Valkyrie, obviously unsure of how to respond to this. Hrist instantly grew irritated at having wasted her time in conversing with these women. So she casually pushed both of them aside (knowing that they would never dare respond for fear of risking a violent death) and continued down the hall to where they said he was.

It wasn't all that hard to track him down, as soon as she was close enough; all she had to do was follow the sound of his impressive snoring. Soon she stood over him, turning her head curiously as she wondered how anybody could ever find comfort on stairs. She was about to give him a harsh kick, and an even harsher reprimand for sleeping in random spots, when he began to murmur in his sleep.

"Get em Hrist… kick their asses…" he said, smacked his lips together for a second and continued snoring.

Hrist was stunned '_Is he dreaming of me?_

She was touched, Arngrim was actually dreaming of her, in what was undoubtedly honorable combat. All of the anger seemed to seep away, and was replaced with a warm feeling within her. She stared fondly at her mercenary and took a seat beside him to see if she could catch anymore snippets of what was going on in his head.

Xxxx [The dreams of a noble Einherjar]

_Arngrim sat in an extravagant oak seat, lined with gold trim and soft comfy cushions. Crowds as far as the eye could see, encircled an expansive arena; in the center was a single square ring, which stood about three feet off of the ground. Magical ever-burning torches that lined the walls cast the entire place in a cerulean blue hue. _

_The only sounds that could be heard were the semi-quiet mumblings of the crowds. There was a sort of electricity in the air, as everyone was anxiously anticipating the night's events. Arngrim's seat had the best view by far, as his was elevated above the rest. He could easily make out the faces of his fellow Einherjar, and the Aesir that inhabited the beautiful halls of Valhalla. There was a small "ahem", just loud enough to be heard over the crowds, Arngrim looked and saw one of the Aesir servants. A pretty blonde, that wore the same green, curiously short outfits that the gods seemed favor here, held a tall mug of ail that he graciously took._

_He didn't even get to take drink, when the torches suddenly dimmed. Everyone quickly took a seat and turned their rapt attention to the center ring as a bright stage light (where it was coming from nobody could see) suddenly reveled Rufus standing in the center stage, wearing garishly ostentatious red robe as he held a microphone up to his lips._

"_Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for coming. Tonight, we are going to watch the most anticipated match, in the history of Valhalla! Are. You. ready?" The crowds erupted in a thunderous roar of cheering that lasted for a full minute. Then as quickly as it started everyone quieted, as Rufus brought the microphone back up to his lips._

"_For the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the 9 worlds! I give you…In the Red Corner, from the royal halls of Valhalla... The ferocious…The fearsome… that Fine Fiery Hell-Cat… FREYYAA!" Again the crowds exploded in another wave of thunderous cheering as Freya suddenly appeared 30 feet above the ring. Suspended in the air, she crossed her renowned legs and assumed her trademark mock sitting position as she lowered herself to the ground, leaving a small ripple in the very fabric of time and space in her wake._

_With a haughty sneer she spoke, her loud voice carried easily over the roaring crowds._

"_You're mad, if you think we gods will let you have Arngrim all to yourself!" She straitened herself out as she touched down. Placing one hand on her hip, she used the other to blow Arngrim a kiss and gave him a wink. A jealous few females could be heard booing her before Rufus spoke again._

"_And in the Blue Corner, we have…the baaad girl of Valhalla herself! …Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, The Voluptuous…The Vivacious… That Vindictive Vixen… HHRRIST VALKYRIEE! Another explosion of deafening applause was heard as a single, violet bead of bright light descended from the ceiling. As soon as it touched ground, there was a blinding flash as Hrist Valkyrie stood to her full height, her black wings spanning out before they vanished in a flurry of black feathers and sparkling light. Hrist took a single step forward, allowing one of her creamy smooth legs to slip out of her skirt, as she summoned her halberd and pointed it at Freya._

"_I will not stand by, while you gods steal the heart of my Einherjar!" She boomed in a voice that commanded absolute authority. She turned to Arngrim within the crowds, and flashed him a small but smitten smile. With the challenge made, the crowds were absolutely Hysterical, as Rufus once again raised the microphone and continued._

"_Ladies and Gentlemen" Rufus paused for effect, as the two mighty goddesses stared each other down. "LLLETS GET RRREADY TO RUUUMMMBLLE" The two women charged forward across the ring, but instead of Freya using her divine power, or Hrist using her sheer skill with her mighty halberd. The two women tackled each other to the ground. _

_The crowd went nuts as the two women rolled around on the mat. They groaned and grunted, they slapped, pulled hair, and skirts were torn as they frantically tried to pin the other to the ground. Rufus was suddenly off to the side as the at a desk, he had a headset on and was excitedly wiping sweat off of his face as he narrated the fight. _

"_In all my years I have never seen a catfight quite like this! Both women seem intent to bring the pai-" The crowd flared as Hrist managed to grab Freya's dress and tear away the midsection, exposing her midriff. Then Freya, with fury in her eyes Clothesline the battle maiden. _

"_Oh my gods! Things are absolutely heating up in there and… NO! It can't be-" Nobody seemed to notice until it was too late. Lenneth and Silmeria Valkyrie slipped into the ring, unnoticed in all of the confusion, they snuck up on the two combatants. Silmeria slipped her arms under Hrist's and bent over backwards, pulling her sister along with her; slamming her to the mat with violent force, and executing a perfect suplex._

_Freya on the other hand , so stunned by the turn of events, never saw Lenneth sneak up behind her and slam her in the back of the head with a folding chair (like everything else in Valhalla, it was lined with gold trimming). _

_Then, for absolutely no reason, foam was suddenly being shot into the ring, dousing the four in a frothy mess. Arngrim stood from his seat a look of awe on his face as the ring, and the woman in it, descended into sexy chaos._

"_This is the greatest day ever!"_

Xxxx

"…now all of you kiss and make up…" He murmured, with a smile that was growing impossibly wider by the second. Hrist stared at him with a deadpan expression on her face. She swiftly stood up and kicked him on the side of his leg, causing him to instantly jerk awake with a "huh?"

"Stop sleeping on the stairs!" she boomed, and hurricane Hrist stormed off to go reap terror somewhere else.

**I'm writing this as sort of an apology for the story Full Circle. I wanna thank you for reviewing and apologize to you, for forgetting that you hoped to see an update. I know its not much, but i hope you enjoy the random crap that goes through my head while i'm at work. I plan to randomly update this between chapters of other work, as there is no shortage on random crap that goes through my head. Amanthya, acein12, Iseria Dweller this one's for you!**


	2. Freddy versus Arngrim

Freddy versus Arngrim

Hrist Valkyrie sat at a lunch table all by herself. With a fork, she disinterestedly poked at her salad as she leaned on her right palm and watched the other tables.

They all looked so lively… Einherjar talked to each other with animated exuberance, making loud and sometimes lewd statements as they told their stories with mixed results of their audience. In all reality they were probably doing nothing more than telling the same stories over and over again. Some of them had been here for more than a dozen centuries, and since they never aged, all they could do was enjoy the comforts of Valhalla and wait for Ragnorok to come.

The Goddess ate in silence for a moment, till she spotted a few of the Valhalla guards step out and into the cafeteria. Though her fellow Aesir were dressed in the typical thigh-high skirts of the Valhalla's guard uniform, they each had a newspaper in their hands and were balancing a tray of food in their arms, obviously on break.

Hrist perked up, and sat a little straighter, careful not to say anything as her fellow Aesir eyed the mess hall for an empty place to sit. Valhalla, and its seemingly never ending quest for exuberance, had massive tables that could easily seat 36 people comfortably. The tables were covered in red velvet, and tastefully decorated with an assortment of flowers that gave the entire place a regal feel to it.

The guards eyed the Valkyrie's table and the 35 available seats for a short moment, and then quickly darted for a table on the other side of the mess hall while they conversed in quiet tones. Hrist slumped her shoulders in disappointment and she wished Freya were here. The two would always sit together and talk about people and the new and interesting ways that they would smite them.

Uproarious laughter erupted from the table with the Aesir guards, and Hrist decided that she just wasn't really that hungry anymore. Freya was in a private council with Lord Rufus (private council was code for Freya yelling at him for doing something stupid), and she decided that maybe she could go see what Arngrim was up-

THUNK!

A mug of beer, almost as large as her head, touched down right next her and caused the battle maiden to jump in surprise. This was followed by a massive tray of food, precariously stacked with a pile of meat.

"Yo" Arngrim said, as he lowered himself to the bench style seating and slumped over the table that was way too low for someone his size. The Goddess glared at him for sneaking up on her, but he either didn't notice or didn't care, possible both. She was about to return the greeting, when she looked at his tray and blanched.

"How can you eat such garbage?" she eyed the pile with a disgusted look on her face. Arngrim smirked at her "Aww cmon Hrist, a little protein is good for the body"

A little protein, her divine but! Stacked on his plate had to be the entire lower half of the food chain. It was as if he was leading an unsung war against the evil green forces of vegetarianism, and maybe their supreme leaders, The Vegans.

…and winning

And just for good measure, in case the meat wasn't meaty enough, Hrist watched in horror as he drowned everything in gravy. At this point, he could tell her that his family was killed by veggie snacking hippies when he was young, and the only way to avenge their deaths was to depopulate the planet of all tasty animals, she would totally believe him.

The Valkyrie shook her head "You know, some people say that eating such things shall cause one to have nightmares in their sleep" she said casually. Arngrim looked at her with a raised eyebrow, and then smiled mischievously. He sat up ramrod straight, simulating perfect posture, and grabbed his mug of Ale. The Valkyrie watched with interest as he pretended to delicately sip at the frothy liquid while he made a point to extend his pinky.

"Tis only a fool, who would believe such rubbish…" Arngrim said with a falsetto voice, in his best Hrist imitation. The Battle Maiden instantly bristled at him.

"I do not sound like that!" She hissed at him, though it seemed to have no effect on the mercenary.

"Perish the thought! Twas never my intention to make such brash insinuations." He said serenely. Hrist growled.

XxxX

The sunshine, of Valhalla's never ending day, always seemed to hit the trees just right, when you're in the gardens. The wide open spaces, and soft grass, made this the perfect spot for the children of holy capital to come play, or for couples in love to stroll through. Never did it rain or grow overcast, and always had a perpetual breeze that complimented the warm temperatures. This, along with the intricate and tasteful architecture, made the entire place boil down to a single word. _Perfect. _

However, as Arngrim squinted at the bright light, he decided that it was a little too bright for his taste.

In all reality, Arngrim would rather be inside, but it was after dinner and he wanted his afternoon nap. However, if Hrist caught him sleeping on the stairs again, he was pretty sure that she was going to kill him this time. So in response to his dilemma, Arngrim decided that the best course of action would be to pick his spots at random. The plan was essentially fool proof. Few people ever realized just how ridiculously large Valhalla truly was. The holy structure housed not dozens, but _hundreds_ of various stairways that led all over the place. Even if Hrist suspected something, the chances of her actually finding him was like… well it was really low.

He layed back on the stairs and made himself comfortable. He was full from lunch, but he still took an extra sandwich for his pre-nap snack. He took a bite and for a second and, for a second, he considered what Hrist said about people getting nightmares from eating food right before they went to bed.

He chuckled.

For being an all-powerful Goddess, Hrist sure did pick up some funny ideas. He only made it half way through his snack when his eyelids began to get heavy. He yawned around a mouthful of food, before he swallowed and laid his head back.

All alone, Arngrim chose a set of stone steps that was out of the way and hidden by the immaculately trimmed bushes. He couldn't help but chuckle at his own brilliance as he situated himself on the steps, and made himself comfortable, and listened to the soothing breeze that swept him into peaceful slumber…

_Skip,skip,skip,skip_

The odd sound caused our Mercenary to sit up, and he spotted two little girls working a jump rope for a third who was jumping in the middle, not 30 feet from Arngrim's hiding spot.

"Hey! Can you little girls go play somewhere else?" he called out, but almost immediately regretted it, as he found three sets of golden eyes staring at him. Gods he found those eyes creepy. Children of the Aesir were all born with golden eyes, up until they reached maturity, then they finally changed and took on their own individual colors. On several occasions, he would see Hrist's eyes revert from their usual violet, to gold. However, few people could ever vouch for this, because her eyes would only change when she was powering up.

And when Hrist Valkyrie powered up, things die.

"Hey! Did you kids hear me? Go play somewhere else." The child gods giggle at him and continued to skip rope. Arngrim groaned and lay his head back, figuring he could just go back to sleep. However just as he was about to slip away the girls began to sing. Their little voices, in tandem to the jump rope, were almost haunting as they sang their tune.

"_One, two Freddy's coming for you… Three, four better lock your door…_"

Arngrim sat back up, exhausted and frustrated that no one in this friggen place would let him nap in peace. "Hey! Go play somewhere else you little brats!" but the little girls either didn't hear him, or they just didn't care.

"_Five, six get your crucifix… Seven, eight better stay up late…_"

Holy gods they were annoying, and they were singing damned weird too. At this rate, they would never finish. The heavy warrior tried his best to ignore them, but his efforts proved futile as they continued to sing in their surprisingly slow song.

"_Nine, ten never sleep again…_"

Nap ruined, he got up and trekked his way back through the gardens. He reached the doors, but just before he turned the knob, he turned and yelled "You're off key!"

Satisfied that he had put one over on a five year old, Arngrim took a step inside and froze.

The floors and walls were all covered in grime and dust. Cobwebs hung all over the ceiling and corners. The carpets looked ratty, covered in mold, and were coming apart under his boots. The place looked ancient, as if no one had been here in ages. Not to mention, that none of the guards were stationed at any of their posts.

Arngrim wracked his brain for a moment. Had it been like this an hour ago? He was pretty sure he would have noticed… right? Before his mental investigation could go any further, a combination of the now dry and stale air, as well as the dust all over everything, made him realize just how thirsty he was.

"Man, the cleaning people are really slumping off…" he said to no one, and shrugged. Not caring that the statement didn't actually explain anything at all, and began his quest for booze. The mess halls were situated near the center of Valhalla, but Arngrim was heading in the opposite direction towards the storerooms, where some time ago, he and several of the other Einherjar had been lost (something that was very common here) and with the hopes that they would find the main hall, they walked into one of the randomly unmarked doors.

And struck gold.

The room they had walked into was the holy capitals primary storage facility for all of Valhalla's endless booze. Easily the size of the throne room, it was stockpiled to the ceiling with barrels upon barrels of various spirits. Upon sight Arngrim and Kradd grabbed each other's hands and began to jump around like exited school children, while Celes, Phyriss, and Rachelle, having spotted the microbrewery in the corner, dropped to their knees and began to bow.

12 days later, Silmeria Valkyrie had been awoken, so that she could use the Valkyrie/Einherjar bond to find the AWAL troops. And when she found them… well let's just say that it wasn't pretty. Since then, they would often sneak in, get loaded, and then sneak back out as if nothing had ever happened.

Was it the perfect crime? No. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on because by the time they left, they were often too drunk to remember that they had left a whole bunch of empty bottles behind. So even though they thought that they were ultimate drunken ninja raiders, in reality, the guards really just didn't give a crap.

Still oblivious to the curious state of the now empty and ancient halls, Arngrim found the door he was looking for, and in direct defiance of the 'Authorized Personnel Only' sign (something that he thought only made the beer taste deliciously forbidden) and snuck in.

However, instead of being greeted with the breathe-taking sight of walls of booze, he found himself staring down a corridor of… a dirty old boiler room? What? That couldn't be right. There was no way that he could have taken the wrong path. He knew exactly where the magic hall-o-hooch was. Hell, he could literally find it with his eyes closed should he find himself blind and thirsty. On two separate occasions, he woke up and found that he had walked there in his sleep.

He turned around to go back out and…

"What the hell?" he said as he found himself staring down the other end of the corridor. It was dark, and with the exception of the light from some of the water heater's coal burners. It was completely dark. The door he had walked through was just… gone.

Arngrim put a hand in front of his face and breathed into it, to smell his own breath. Nope, he didn't detect any alcohol so wasn't drunk already. He then gave himself a simple eye examination by following his own finger around and then pinched his own arm. All tests seemed to conclude that he was, in fact, not under the influence of any reality altering substances. Arngrim didn't do that kind of stuff, but you could never be too careful…

Xx

_A young and lanky man, journeys home along a long countryside road. Most who knew him would be able to identify the slight bounce in his step, and the proud smile that beams from his face. It was the look of a man, whom had successfully completed his very first contract as an actual mercenary. Earlier in the day Arngrim had escorted Old Lady Marie, a grey and sweet old woman, to the market. 20 OATH had ensured her safe arrival and departure from the square. When he got home, he was going to tell his mom about his very first actual contract as a Body Guard. Though the afternoon turned out to be boring and long, and he swore to the gods, that if he had to look at another damned doily, or friggen cat pillow, then someone was going to get stabbed. Arngrim decided that he might garnish the story a little with a ninja attack or two. You know, for public relation purposes…_

_Mercenaries need good PR._

_The demanding growl of his stomach pulls the young man from his revere, and he realizes that he hadn't eaten all day. Young Arngrim estimated that he had another 2 hours of walking before he would make it home. He could wait till he got home, but he was a mercenary now! Mercenaries ate, slept and did what they wanted when they wanted. He looked to the side of the road, and saw some wild mushrooms._

_Arngrim liked mushrooms. Sometimes mom would put mushrooms into his soup._

_What's the worst that could go wrong?_

_Xx_

Well, as it turns out, that like, 97 percent of all mushrooms that are found in the wild are not edible. And luckily, Old Lady Marie just happened to be out for a stroll, when she found Arngrim gibbering at a tree. So she was kind enough to escort _him_ home instead.

Naturally, Arngrim decided to leave that particular job out of his resume. You know, for public relation purposes...

The sound of a sinister laugh caught his attention, it sounded hoarse and dry, like dry leaves or something… "Hello?" he called out, but didn't get a response.

"Is anybody out there…?" he tried again and was again met with silence. Odd.

Sinister as that laugh was, it was most definitely a laugh. And where people were laughing, then they were probably having a good time. And where people were having a good time, there was more than likely some ale around.

Arngrim licked his lips and continued on his quest for a cold one.

Xx

**_TTSSSS_** "Ouch! Son of a…" Arngrim cursed as he accidently touched another one of the pipes. It wouldn't be so bad if whoever built this friggen place had actually thought to put some lighting around here.

Did Valhalla even have a boiler room?

Now that he thought about it, it did make a little sense. After all, if anyone would whine about not having any hot water; it would definitely be the Aesir.

Arngrim stopped, when he noticed that he stepped in a large pool blood, it was impossible to tell where it came from as it was speckled everywhere. More disturbingly, where the red hand prints that had been dragged before they ended. Arngrim looked around at the brutal scene for a whole 20 seconds before he came to a conclusion…

"This place must be unsafe as hel to work in… I'm calling OSHA (Occupation Safety and Health Association) when I get out of here."

_"AAAAAAHH! PLEASE, SOMEBODY!" _the horrible scream of terror went on for a few seconds more before it was abruptly ended. Arngrim whirled around, trying to track where it was coming from. With all of the frigging hissing the pipes made, it was almost impossible to track where it was coming from. Arngrim was no plumber, but he was pretty sure that pipes weren't supposed to leak steam like that.

In fact, now that Arngrim thought about it, he ran into quite a few odd things in this place. Like that little girl incident…

Xx

_The heavy warrior hones in on the sounds of a little girl sobbing. Looking high and low, he has trouble tracking her exact location as the sounds echo off every metal surface, and masked by the random hissing from the pipes._

_Finally, after what seems like forever, he tracks her down and comes to her hiding spot, just under a large section of pipes. It's dark, so he can't see her, but the sounds of her crying are unmistakably close. He lowers himself to his hands and knees, as he tries to see into the pitch black._

_"Hey, little girl, can you hear me?" he said, and tried to reach under for her. He couldn't find her, but she had evidently heard him.  
"Sssshhhh, he'll find me." she said with a quavering voice._

_"Who? The guy who keeps laughing? Do you know where he's at? Does he have any ale with him?"_

_"No, the bad man…" she says, and Arngrim is pretty sure he can make her form just out as his eyes adjust to the extreme low light. He tries to reach for her._

_"No honey, it doesn't make him a bad man if he drinks it…" he grunts as he extends his arms as far as he can "Someday, when you turn into a grown-up you're allowed to have special grown-up dri-" He's cut off as a clawed hand, shoots out from further in the darkness and wraps around her. The mercenary dives for her, but his actions are fruitless as he is simply too large to fit under there. He is forced to watch as she's dragged off into the abyss. _

_Jumping to his feet, his Great-Sword leaps off of his back and scans the area for any other threats. _

_"The rats in this place are gods damned **huge**!" He says as he checks around his feet for any other clawed hands that might try to drag him off too…_

Xx

He rubbed his chin. That was pretty weird, but not as weird as that dead guy he found…

Xx

_Arngrim walks around a corner, diligently watching his step for any low hanging pipes and other obstructions. He grumbles to himself about the stupidity of only installing red lights around here. As he makes is way down, yet another, dark and dank hallway, he spots a partially open door. However it's not the door that gets his attention, it's what's lying on the ground in the doorway. _

_The tip of a Great-Sword, completely identical to the one he's carrying. He cautiously approaches the door and pushes it open. He's not prepared for what he finds inside. _

_Arngrim's corpse has been strung up and brutally murdered. Blood is everywhere as the heavy warrior examines the dead body that is identical to his own in every way, right down to the scar that ran down the left side of his face._

_"What the hel?"_

_He stares into his own face, forever caught in a silent scream, and shakes his head with regret._

_"What a waste, I would have liked to have known this handsome devil…"_

Xx

Oh and let's not forget the room-o-body parts

Xx

_Arngrim stands in what appears to be a butchering room, the floors, the tables, everything is stained in red blotches as various blades and human body parts hang from hooks. It appears that someone has been systematically butchering the citizens of Valhalla._

_The Heavy warrior pulls a notepad from one of his back pockets, along with a pen. The cover of the book says **Mysteries of Valhalla**, and the warrior begins to flip through the pages one at a time, till he stops at his destination. Using a pen that he keeps for just such an occasion, he crosses one of the items off his list. [Mystery no.453 Meatloaf Monday]_

Xx

Arngrim continued to contemplate, and then out of nowhere, a moment of pure clarity strikes him "Hmmmm… It's like I've been pulled into some dimensional realm of twilight where the lines of subconscious dreaming and reality are blurred, by some evil force, for the purpose of harvesting my soul…" Wait what? Where the hell did that come from? As quick as the thought had arrived, it had completely vanished from his mind.

The mercenary shrugged, and decided that he could give it the attention it deserved when he found something to drink. Taking a step forward he continued his search.

Ale wasn't going to find itself you know…

Xxxx

"Oh great, another one of _these_ things again…" Arngrim said sarcastically as he stared at a massive living wall of burnt flesh. Faces could be seen, poking out at random spots as they screamed and cried out in anguish.

_"help us!"_

_"why won't it end!"_

This is like the third one he's found! Okay, this was getting annoying. Arngrim had been wandering around, what had to be; the gods damned biggest boiler room, in gods damned existence. And he had yet to find a single gods damned drop!

_"release us!"_

_"evil, he's so evil…"_

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!" he barked at the wailing, living wall of flesh. How the in the gods was anybody supposed to hear themselves think when these guys were whining like that. He was about to walk away, when one of the faces caused him to do a double take…

"Celes? Is that you?" indeed, one of the trapped souls that struggled so hard was in fact the light warrior.

_"Arngrim, please help us!"_

She wasn't the only one, closer inspection revealed that other Einherjar, such as Lawfer and Phyriss, and creepy-mage-guy who wore a hat that was far too big for him…

The heavy warrior took a step back in horror as everything suddenly started to make sense.

"…oh gods… this can't be…" everything seemed to click into place, the body parts, the blood, the sinister laugh, that horrible sound of something scraping along the pipes… He knew exactly where he was…

"Hello Arngrim" a sinister voice said behind him.

Arngrim just about crapped himself as he whirled around and drew his blade. And that's when he saw him.

A man was leaning lazily against the pipes, smaller than average, he seemed to absorb the light around him. A fedora was pulled low on his brow, and the hazy red glow seemed to backlight him. He was nothing but a silhouette, a shadow that somehow managed to stand out from the others.

"Welcome… to my nightmare." He greeted through charred vocal cords, it sounded guttural and dry as he began to slowly advance. As he closed in on Arngrim, he pulled up his hand to display the gleaming edges of the razor sharp points attached to his glove.

Arngrim heroically stood his ground, though a single bead of sweat moved down his face, a betrayal of his fear, as the man closed in like a predator, laughing sadistically the whole way.

Suddenly he struck, though he was a good 15 feet away, the shadow that his arm casted closed the distance in the blink of an eye and stabbed the mercenary in the chest. With a loud grunt, Freddy Krueger ripped his hand out, curving his fingers up to maximize the damage and… nothing.

"Huh?" he stared at a man, who was definitely **_not_** bleeding to death with a gaping chest wound. It was almost as if his attack passed right through…

With an angry roar, he slashed again and again with the shadows, each time proving to be as completely ineffective as the last. "Why the hell won't you DIE!" he screamed and tried to aim for more vital spots, like his eyes and neck. Unfortunetly for him, his shadow attack did as much damage as an actual shadow… which is squat.

"What the hell is going on? …Are you even listening to me!" He screamed with rage.

"sssshhhhh" Holding up a finger to his lips, Arngrim shushed Freddy Krueger while trying to look behind him for something "She'll hear you!" he said in a panicked whisper.

"Who?"

Arngrim looked around nervously, like he was about to say 'the name of which we do not speak of', and gulped "…Freya…"

Freya, the goddess of love and fertility, was also known as the meanest, scariest damned woman to ever terrorize the halls of Valhalla. Feared by all who knew her, the other Einherjar avoided Odin's ex, like they avoided rape. To Arngrim it all made sense, the dark foreboding atmosphere, the bodies, the gore, random little girls being dragged off into the darkness…

This had to be Freya's room.

Freddy blinked at him, the confusion written all over his face. "Who!"

"…What are you kidding me?" Arngrim stared at him in disbelief. "Little blonde woman, bout yay tall" He lifted his hand to his best estimate of her height "Goddess of love and fertility? Kicker of puppies?" okay, that last one he made up. But he was pretty sure if anybody would go around kicking puppies, it would be her.

"There's no Freya here! This is _my_ world, _my_ nightmare!" he growled.

"…so… this isn't Freya's room?"

"NO!"

The heavy warrior visibly relaxed, put his sword away, and then proceeded to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. "Thank gods, I thought I was screwed for second there." Suddenly his face lit up as if he just remembered something "hey, have you seen a big ass room of beer around he-"

"DIIIEEE!" The dream demon charged at him. Crossing the room in an instant, Freddy plunged his hand into his neck, running his blades through his arteries and… still nothing.

In fact, now it was just getting awkward… Arngrim rubbed the back of his head, as wasn't really sure what to say.

"WHY CAN'T I HURT YOU! It's like you don't even… You don't fear me, do you?" He asked, and the mercenary just shrugged. "Why would I? You're like a 40 year old guy, in a Christmas sweater, in the middle of July."

"How can you not be afraid!" he cried. Arngrim was doing his best not to show that he was getting annoyed. He honestly didn't know why the guy had to keep yelling for, he's like 3 feet away. "Do you even know where you're at? Don't you know how much danger you're in?" Freddy pulled off his fedora, and at his command of will alone, the flames of the boilers flared to almost demonic levels. Arngrim could easily see his terrible burns that covered his face and head. "I'M A CHARRED CORPSE FOR CHRIST SAKE!"

Arngrim winced, "Jeez, haven't you ever heard of sunscreen before? Valhalla doesn't have any nights you know. Listen, east hall, like two doors down from the throne room, there's a guy who can hook you up with some ointment…" he said helpfully.

"Well wha-"

"Yea, whatever I don't really care" Arngrim cut him off. He was pretty sure that if he didn't end this, then he would probably just go on forever. "You either do, or don't, know where the huge room of booze is at. So either point me in the right direction, or I'm just gonna keep looking."

"Get it through your thick skull! THERE. ARE. NO. BOOZE. HERE." The second he said it, he felt it. It was small, and it passed quickly, but there was no mistaking it.

Fear… Fear of this world. It wasn't quite the same as fear of himself, but Freddy Kruger could work with fear of his relm. _Gotcha bitch!_

"Whoa, whoa… we talking no beer in this room? …or like…" _No, no, no, that's just crazy. Don't even think like that._

"Oh, you mean _beer_"Freddy said with a false smile "why didn't you just say so…" Arngrim refrained himself from pointing out that he did, on multiple occasions at that.

"Why, it's through that door, right behind you…" He smiled, through ruined teeth. Arngrim looked confused.

"What the Hel are you talking about? There's no door… oh." He turned around, and sure enough there was a door. What the hel? How the hell did this keep happening, was he getting slow or something? '_Must be a sign of dehydration'_ He thought.

Arngrim turned the knob. Completely uncaring that nobody, in the history of medical science, has ever reported being so thirsty that doors started randomly appearing. His breath caught in his throat as he was hit with the most beautiful sight in the world. Beer, barrels, and barrels of glorious beer as far as the eye can see. It was like Christmas, his birthday, and that time he tricked Hrist to try and touch her elbows behind her back, all rolled into one.

Gleefully, Arngrim ambled forward. Behind him, Freddy called out to him. "Hey, I've got a cup right he-"

"No thanks, I got it covered!" he called over his shoulder, and pulled out a keg tap and a mug the size of Freddy's head. The serial killer wondered where the Hell was he keeping those. Were they on him the whole time? But before he could ask, Arngrim had already prepped, tapped the keg, and was pouring himself a tall mug. Using skills, speed, and precision, found only in professional nascar pit crews.

"cheers" he said, raising a mug at him and took a long pull. He froze, then violently spit it out on the floor.

Now I know what you're thinking. What was in the mug? Was it some kind of horrible toxic waste? Or maybe it was the liquefied organs of some unfortunate victim? This is Freddy Kruger's world, so it was something horrible right?

"Its Water!" He stared at clear, and horrifyingly clean, contents of his mug. Freddy could feel it, just a little more and he wouldn't be able to resist his attacks. "What the hell is going on?" He demanded.

Freddy Krueger laughed maniacally "Don't you get it? All of the beer in the world has been banished! Forever!"

"No! That's not true!" He said, taking panicked steps back from the ever advancing demon.

"It's not true, you say? Then what's this?" He handed him a small, yellow post-it note. "beer banish from Valalla forever, signed guy in charge!" The note had obviously been scribbled by Freddy, like, 2 seconds ago. He didn't use proper grammar, didn't know who was actually in charge, and he spelled Valhalla wrong. Only a complete idiot wouldn't recognize something this obvious.

Arngrim dropped to his knees and shook his fist at the heavens "NOOOO!" Freddy laughed at his torment. Now was the time, He would be able to inflict real wounds, and harvest his soul.

"Huh…" The dream demon was suddenly aware of… another soul. This man was binded to a soul that was much more powerful, something much older… a she. He realized that Arngrim was connected to the soul of an old god. One that was currently _asleep_.

He smiled.

He could exploit this. He could use the bind against her, and pull her into this world. He walked up to Arngrim, who was in the fetal position, and spoke to him. Due to his fear, he could invade his mind and compel him. _Call to her… Call to the only one who can help you… _

XxX Meanwhile: in Valhalla's treasury office XxX

"4 passenger horse carriage: 34,815 OTH. Carriage cargo, 8 suitcases. Cost of suitcases: 415 OTH. Contents of suitcase one. 3 dresses: 87 OTH. 1 Hair brush: 7 OTH…" The royal treasury agent continued to read in a monotone voice.

Though he was showed no emotion, he was absolutely amazed at how patient and attentive Hrist Valkyrie was. This meeting was mandatory after every single mission to Midgard, and on normal occasions, the most dreaded thing that any Valkyrie had to look forward to.

This was the after-action collateral damage report. AKA, the bane of Valkyrie existence.

"Contents of suitcase 2…" Everything that was damaged, used, or consumed, had to be reviewed with each battle maiden. This was the only time, that you'd ever see a Valkyrie break their stoic discipline. By now, Silmeria would be anxiously staring at the door, while Lenneth would probably fidget endlessly. However, today he was amazed at how bright eyed and alert she was being.

Which was absolutely amazing, because Hrist's, due to her fighting style, was longer than both Silmeria's and Lenneth's combined.

However, what he didn't know was that Hrist had fallen asleep nearly 4 hours ago.

On their way back to Valhalla, Arngrim had noticed that Hrist was looking for any reason to stall her return. When asked what was wrong, she eventually explained her plight to him, hoping that he might have some idea to get her out of it. Sadly, he didn't have any ideas to get her out of it, but that didn't mean that he couldn't help her.

You see, being a mercenary, Arngrim had to go through the same thing pretty often. So he taught her one of the best kept secrets amongst mercenaries. The secret Eyes Wide Open But Still Asleep Technique.

She turned out to be a fast learner.

xXXx

"HRIIIST!" Arngrim called out, and suddenly, both he and Freddy Krueger became aware of another presence in the room. Freddy, delightfully, eyed the confused Battle Maiden as she spun around, trying to figure out where the hell she was.

"What in the gods!" She took the dark forbidding atmosphere, the sounds of distant torment, and finally the visage of the Serial Killer who stood over her Einherjar. "How did I end up here?" She asked, and Freddy laughed dangerously. "Welcome… to my Nigh-" He was interrupted when Hrist casually shoved him out of the way. "Not you, idiot." So unprepared for this, all he could do was sputter as she stopped a few feet away from the large man, cowering on the floor, in the fetal position. "Arngrim!" her voice knocked the mercenary from his terrified trance with a 'huh'. "What is going on…" she finally noticed Arngrim's state "and what in the gods, is your problem?" on the verge of histarics, he answered "H-Hrist, my worst nightmare has come true!"

"You mean the one where the beer drinks you?"

"No, the other one." He said, and she slapped a hand to her face in frustration. "How many times must I tell you, Lord Rufus shall never banish spirits from the royal halls. The Einherjar would riot!"

"so… all of the beer's safe?" she nodded " Now come, I would advise that we get out of Freya's quarters before-"

"THIS IS NOT FREYA'S ROOM!" She turned to the source of the outburst, and rubbed her chin while she considered the statement. "...Perhaps you are right… I suppose that this place is a bit too cheery to be her quarters…" Argrim stood up, and suddenly they were both very aware of a grinding sound as Freddy Krueger's jaw worked back and forth. Hrist couldn't help but notice that he had a crazy look in his eye.

Hrist turned and jerked a thumb in his direction "What is the deal with that guy?" she asked.

"Oh, him… I think he was whining about a sunburn or… something I dunno, I can't remember." Arngrim said as he brushed dust off of his pants. The Goddess turned back to him, and indeed noted the horrible condition of his skin. "The Royal Healer has a vast assortment of ointments and-"

"RAAAHHHH" in a furious rage, he charged the battle maiden. So unrespecting this, she took a step back in surprise as the blades of his gloves sunk into her face. With another scream, he ripped them out, anticipating a spray of blood and gore and… nothing.

"You either! What is wrong with you people? Why don't you fear me?" he continued to scream. He was so angry; he almost looked like he was going to cry.

"Fear you? Tis hard to be scared of a man, who is dressed like a…" She turned her head to Arngrim "What was that word you had used to describe Lord Odin's attire?" Arngrim smirked at the memory then answered helpfully. "Tool"

The Battle Maiden shook her head at the odd terms, men were using these days. "…Yes, that is it" she turned back to the killer "you look like a complete 'Tool'" she said, though the word 'tool' came out awkwardly.

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY SWEATER!" he stomped his foot in a tantrum "and what about you! Who goes around fighting in high heeled boots and a skirt? You look like a stripper!" he stopped when he noticed something wrong. Her eyes had turned gold, and her face had gone stoic. "The hell's the deal with your eyes?" Freddy asked.

All Arngrim could do was shake his head "dude you are so screwed…" he said as Hrist began to stalk forward.

* * *

**Writing this made me lol a little. This was just something that i thought would be fun to write, and i know that both Arngrim and Freddy may be a little OOC, but i don't really care. And i know that, in your hearts, you dont really either. The Nightmare's and Dreamscapes thing is just a place where i can put my free writing projects, that form when i'm trying to defeat writers block. **

**By the way, i own nothing, and i do not profit from this in anyway. But if i could, i totally would! That's right, i said it!**


	3. Going Green

The sun rose over the hills of Midguard in a miasma of wonderfully rich colors, and absolutely dazzling effects. Without the hindrance of a single cloud, the warm sunlight fought back the night chill and gave the land a look that would strike harmony into the hearts of even the most hardened men.

However, there were blemishes if one looked hard enough.

The landscape was divided as a long dirt road winded its way through the forest. Strewn along it were discarded cups, pieces of trash and other items that were also haphazardly strewn about. It was here that many of Valhalla's defenders walked along both sides of the roads, carefully scanning the ground for their intended targets.

Though each was an absolute professional, some could even be considered artists, in the job of dealing death. None of them were equipped with their usual weapons of choice. Which was surprising, considering that some of the more senior Einherjar, such as Phyress, Celes, or Kradd, would normally never be seen without them.

Instead, they were all armed with what looked like little spears, and a brown cloth bags draped around their shoulders. Their task was simple. If they see a piece of trash on the ground, they stab it, and place it into the cloth. As unspectacular as this task was, it was necessary. Midgard, despite contrary belief, was not under attack 24 hours a day. There were times of piece, when much more minor problems could be dealt with. And the new lord Rufus, much like Odin, knew not to waist opportunities like today to handle them.

One of the newest of the recruits, a former Artolian knight named Lucian, stepped up to a discarded sandwich wrapper on the ground, and his face hardened. Nature, and all of its glory was a a true sight to behold, and the thought of people just going around and disgracing it with their carelessness...

A single tear rolled down the side of his face.

"Are you freakin serious?" Phyress asked, and stabbed paper cup with extreme prejudice "Are you going to do that _every single time we see a piece of trash?_" Kradd, though he was trying work an apple core off of his stick without actually having to touch it, had not missed it either.

"She's got a point, you know." he sighed in defeat, and just used his hands to pluck the moldy piece of fruit off of his stick and tossed it in the bag "You're gonna dehydrate yourself if you keep that up..."

"I'm sorry guys... its just that all of this beauty, being wasted by man kind..." He eyed another piece of trash, and again another tear. Everyone groaned.

Celes eyed a used condom on the ground, and debated if she should just pretend like she didn't see it. "Well, if its any consolation, I kind of feel like crying myself right now." She looked up, and spotted Hrist Valkyrie. She had no stick, nor any bag for garbage. She walked calmly, halberd in had, and remained diligent in spite of their boring job.

"You know, this would be a lot quicker if you helped out." Celes said sourly.

"Tis not my function. You are all unarmed, and thus vulnerable to our enemies. I was tasked with ensuring your well being." The goddess said serenely, and continued to inspect the road ahead of her.

Phyress rolled her eyes, "Yea, and make sure none of us escape." she muttered. Hrist heard the comment, but said nothing as it was kind of true.

Rufus, in an effort to restore friendly relations with the citizens of Midgard, had declared it 'save the environment week'. So now she, along with an entire battalion of troops, were patrolling the roads and picking up trash like some sort of medieval prison chain gang that you might see on the side of a highway.

Though she didn't have to actually pick any of the trash up herself, the Valkyrie loathed her assignment about as much as they did. Sure as crap wasn't a lot a glory to be found in garbage picking... Plus, the sheer volume of trash was enough make the battle maiden wonder how these mortals could be so messy. She occupied her thoughts, with ways to prevent this kind of thing from happening again.

Perhaps she could rend the head off an offender, and place it as a warning to all the other litter bugs?

She turned and looked at the other Einherjar. However, she promptly deflated, when she saw that Lucian had somehow coaxed a dove to land on his hand, and was now cooing at it. She shook her head; No, they probably wouldn't go for that idea...

Well, at least it wasn't all bad. Arngrim had volunteered (he was forced) to come along with her, so at least she had somebody to talk to during their breaks. And gods knew he sure as hel wasn't having fun out here either. There was definitely some truth in the saying that misery loves company.

Now that she thought about it, she hadn't heard a single complaint from him all day. She turned, and scanned the grumbling crowd for her mercenary. She was thinking that she might reward his patients with...

She didn't see Arngrim anywhere.

There were a dozen reasons for why he might not be here. He could be securing the bags they filled, and preparing them for pickup. He could be out on a water run for the exhausted Einherjar, or maybe he was prepping lunch.

Call it a woman's intuition, or maybe some divine sense that only the Asier had, but Hrist just had this feeling...

Kradd blanched at a dead raccoon, and was about to ask the Dark Maiden if this counted as litter, when he noticed the look on her face. "Hey? Is something wrong?" he asked suspiciously.

Hrist looked unsure as she stared out over the land "I am unsure. I feel as though I should be punishing someone... _severely_"

XxxX

Completely unaware that he was currently in the thoughts of a beautiful young woman, who was probably going to kill him when she had a chance. Arngrim napped beneath the cool shade of a great maple tree.

X The Dreams of a Noble Einherjar X

_All of the Einherjar stare at a massive crystal ball, and are horrified of the terrible destruction that has gripped Midgard. Whole forests were being decimated, and poor woodland creatures were being run out of their homes. _

"_What do we do!" Celes cries out. "We need some sort of hero to do something, but who?" everyone agrees. Murmurs begin to circulate the crowds till some music suddenly begins to play in the background somewhere…_

"_**Our world is in peril…"**_

"_Does anyone else hear that?" Kradd asked as everyone else is looking around for the source of the voice. _

"_Over here!" someone points to the crystal ball and everyone sees, what appears to be, some sort of montage of images, which eventually leads to an image of Rufus._

"_**Rufus, the all father of Midgard, can no longer take the terrible destruction plaguing our planet."**_

_They watch in awe as he raises a hand to the air, and five balls of light appear each its own distinct color._

"_**He sends five special rings to five special souls: Roderick, from Elsweyr; with the power of Earth"**_

"_Oh hel yeah!" the archer cries out, then points his ring at the ground. The ring glows green and a bottomless pit opens up underneath him… "AAAAAHHhhhh…"_he screams as he plummets to his doom.

"_**From North Bellane, Mylan; with the power of Fire"**_

"_I must admit, this seems to be the most useful of the powers." Without warning, the small band of metal suddenly bursts into flames. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" he flails his hands in a vain._

"_**From the Scandinavian seas, Cromm; with the power of Wind" **_

"_You lads dun wanna know where the wind comes from…" The Vikings ring begins to glow, and his stomach bulges "Uh oh…" with a loud boom a green mushroom cloud erupts behind him._

"_**From Artolia, Jelanda; with the power of Water"**_

"_This ring does nothing but get my blouse, and the blouses of other females wet!" The ring suddenly glows and shoots a jet of water right at her chest. "Damn it!" the lightly colored fabric clings to her body and become slightly transparent, revealing a black lacy bra…_

"_**And from all over Midgard, Arngrim; with the power of Heart"**_

"…_this ring sucks… HEY!" the ring glows pink, and a monkey, as well as many other random animals run up and begin to hump his legs "Get the hel away from me!"_

"_**When the five powers combine, they summon Midgard's greatest champion"**_

_The ground in the video as the ground begins to rumble and explodes revealing a female form_

"_**Hrist Valkyrie!" **_

_People run in terror as the goddess flies around, all of them screaming random things like 'Oh gods not her!' and 'Can't we have Lenneth instead!'_

_Hrist flies high into the air and strikes a pose, her black wings only add to the effect __**"The power IS MINE!"**_

_And just because nothing else made sense, the five stand together as odd 80's style music began to play in the background…_

_**Earth… Fire… Wind, Water, Heart, Go Midgard!**_

_With all of their rings pointed to the sky beams of multi colored light streak upwards and converge on a single spot. The white light turns purple and a Hrist emerges._

"_**By your powers combined, I am Hrist Valkyrie!" **__then the odd music is suddenly accompanied with a voice that sings to beat._

_**It's Hrist Valkyrie! She's our hero. Gonna bring, the evil down to zero!**_

_**She's our powers, magnified. And she's fighting on the Midgard side!**_

_**It's Hrist Valkyrie! She's a hero, gonna find, and smite their souls to zero!**_

_**Gonna help her, put asunder, bad guys who like to loot and plunder!**_

_A bruised and battered Odin steps out of nowhere and shakes an angry fist at the Goddess. "You'll pay for this Hrist Valkyrie!"_

_Suddenly every single Einherjar that dwelled in Valhalla started dancing and singing together._

_**We're Einherjar! You can be one too! Cause serving our goddess is the thing to do! Looting and polluting is not the way. Hear what our battle maiden, has to say…**_

"_**Your souls… are MINE!" **__Hrist screams, and begins throwing Valkyrie spears at random. All of the other Einherjar scream and flee for their lives…_

* * *

**... That is the last time i drink that much Mountain Dew...**

**I do not own Captain Planet, nor do i regret what i did to it. (SABAI squints eyes) You know what you did...**_  
_


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